covid, longhaul, long-covid, longhaulers

Yesterday was another tough day I wrote about it. Privately. It helps me navigate through this difficult Long Covid experience. Usually I keep my rants private, but my partner Jenny's very heartfelt post yesterday ( unknown to me) inspired me to share what I wrote with the FB world.
Here’s a section from her post ...
“This is why you really do not want to risk getting Covid or passing it on to anyone else. This could happen to you. It is totally random and it is disabling people of all ages on a long-term basis.
I feel impotent to help him.
I feel frustrated.
I feel so sad to watch him suffering.
And, on bad days like today, I also get really angry that so many people are still being so casual about this virus and not understanding that it can completely f++k up your life.“
So, my post here is not a cry for help or support - it's a bit of a rant - but I sincerely hope that it helps people to understand what Covid can lead to. I also hope that it may help you to understand what it’s like for anyone you know who has Long-Covid, and “they look ok” , and you just want them to “pull up their socks” and get on with their lives” !
HolisticHuman’s Log.
Day 407 after entry into the LongCovid Universe.
"Something has happened to me. Somehow, after being infected, I have lost my strength of will and body. For 13 months. Everything has become more and more difficult."
…. After 407 days or 13 months of entering the Long-Covid Galaxy I am sooooooooo tired of the frustration, the hopelessness, the helplessness, the tiredness and pain all over my body, the tight chest and starving for oxygen lungs. I exist within a whole new world, which brings up so many emotions, hurts my body and challenges my mind. There are many days when I want to fall – far and long – into a Black Hole.

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Life is not ordinary.
Our minds, however, can think anything ABOUT life - that it’s too much to bear, that it’s hard, unjust, unfair, ordinary.
But that is not life. That, my friends, is our mind commenting on life situations. But it is not life, or anywhere close to describing life.
So how shall we describe LIFE?
A Bubbling Up?
An Eternity of Possibility?
A Sea of Energy?
An Infinite Silence?
You see how impossible it is, because LIFE (God, Source, The Divine ) is so far beyond ordinary that our puny little minds cannot grasp it, BECAUSE our minds exist WITHIN, just as the drop of water is contained IN THE SEA.
And when I say life, I don't mean the opposite of death. I mean life itself, the eternal ever-changing ever-present kaleidoscope of galaxies and planets and impossible distances and Suns and moons and supernovas that explode and die and are reborn as LIFE (God, Source, the Divine) dances through it all, happening through you and me, and the billions of galaxies and rushing gurgling rivers, and majesties of swooping eagles and LIFE (God, Source, the Divine) bursting through the daffodils in swellings of love, trilling and warbling in the symphony of early morning birdsong in the gentle mist and the warm breeze, inviting the billions of neurons in our brains to light up and synchronise with LIFE (God, Source, the Divine ) - this Eternal Life, this dynamic pulse inside and outside, inviting all of us to FEEL WITH LIFE and to DANCE WITH LIFE and TO BE LIFE and to drop the Struggle and to recognise how we are trapped by and in our minds, and to ALLOW LIFE to breathe through us in every moment, every precious nanosecond, the eternity of NOW that ALWAYS IS.
Just so.
No. Life is not ordinary. It cannot be.
It is what it is, just as you are what you are, and always have been.
LIFE (GOD, Source, The Divine), the mystery that is us, that was us before we were known, that is everything, that beckons us to enter, enter, fall, surrender, and be held in a place so deep and vast and powerful and soft and open and spacious and gentle and all consuming and light light more light and love love more love that you can ever handle - and just be.
In it.
Of it.
It, which is.

covid, longhaul, long-covid


 By the time I finish writing this it will be day close to Day 100. One hundred days of waking up in a body that doesn’t feel like mine. It's as if I'm living a stranger's life in a strangers body, and often I find myself dropping into the beginnings of depression, before I haul myself back up. That’s hard to admit, coming from a guy who was always healthy and always optimistic, and had no time for what he would call “poor me syndrome”. 

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Reclaim your Inner Authority

Inner Authority comes when we individuate, rather than simply being run by the programming of our tribe, or culture or religion, or even society. To live from this place of Inner Authority, not looking outside for direction or answers, we need to open up to our precious inner guidance.
When you’re open and receptive like this, you often get what I call an intuitive hit, where you simply know what needs to happen, and what needs to be done. I've met lots of people who have this ability - in fact, I believe that we all have it. We simply know what needs to be done. 

But then, what happens? Do we follow through?

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There’s been times over the last week or so that I’ve thought “I’m losing it.” I start most days with up to an hour of Yoga and Meditation, which helps me to get very centered in myself so that I don’t get lost in the media madness that’s bombarding us every day. But then, as I sit down to my yummy home-made granola breakfast and a freshly roasted coffee, I make the mistake of looking at my messages on my Phone. Within minutes I’ve disappeared into scrolling land on my FaceBook feed. I see that a “friend” has posted a link to an article claiming that 5G is responsible for this virus. Whaaat?

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There is now a virus – Covid-19 Coronavirus – which robs you of your capacity to breathe, and causes your temperature to spike uncontrollably – and you feel very ill, and possibly you die. There’s also another virus doing the rounds, but you’ve ignored it. And both are linked.

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We Know. 

On a certain level we all KNOW. We are destroying the planet. Yes  - me, you, us.  We, the people are destroying the planet, by supporting this unchecked out of control capitalist system. Capitalism CAN WORK, but not like this. 

It’s similar to a person who KNOWS that a bottle of wine

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Acceptance & Covid-19

These are very difficult times. Scary. Challenging. Covid-19, Coronavirus, pandemic  - the very words are fear-producing.  We have absolutely no control over what's happening at the moment, and our minds can easily produce fear, anxiety and panic. So here’s an antidote which I hope may help some of you. 

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Wanting Something Different

I have discovered, in my own life, that when I pull back from wanting anything more than I have, I begin to experience Being. This unconscious wanting, for something different to what’s presenting in the moment, is the greatest obstacle to happiness. It is the root of all suffering. It is also

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Fear and Excitement !

There I was, a year separated, forty something years of age, with zero experience of dating, after 20 plus years with the same woman. I felt fearful about going out into that brave new world - but at the same time, I wanted it. There seemed to be two parts of me battling inside - the fearful part, which wanted me to stay in my comfort zone – and the excited part of me, wanting to get up close and personal to a woman.

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So you want to be successful?

Well, don't you? Doesn't everyone? It seems to me that success is one of those mainstream concepts that has not been sufficiently challenged. I mean, what is it? Who defines it? You, or someone else? Is it a formula that never changes, always based on the same stuff - usually money, power, respect, fame -  or does it change as life evolves? 

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I Can't Switch Off !

You have a lot on your plate. There’s always stuff to be done, bills to be paid, outings to plan, phone calls to make, a thousand emails to respond to. It’s a busy world. We get stressed. Our minds go into overdrive – and at some point, we may say to ourselves “I just need to chill a bit more. I need to know how to de-stress. I have to learn how to quieten my mind.”  But of course it’s not that simple, and thoughts like that can even cause more stress, until, sometimes, you think you’re going crazy!

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We all have our challenges. Me too. Lately I’ve realised that one of mine is this - allowing myself to open deeply into BEING RECEPTIVE. I’ve been reflecting on it and this is what I came up with.

Like most of you who are Mums and Dads, my children opened up that part of me that was able to be responsible and to support them as best I could. Now that my children are

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There's Not Enough ...

Yes, I’m afraid it’s true - many of us process information in a consistently negative or biased way and this time of year is a perfect trigger for all those thoughts of lack to come to the surface. Why?

Well, the science of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) has discovered that “neurons that fire together wire together.” This means

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Healthy Skepticism

"Due to an unnatural sonic control program in Earth’s grids, only 4 Vector Codes have been active in biological earth since 25,500 BC, making the chemical DNA of Earth life appear to be a “Base 4 Genetic Alphabet” 

 I kid you not! And there's lots more where that came from ! Yes, there are all kinds of belief systems you can get into (with appropriately spacey names !)  .....Pleideans, Excalibur Reiki, Atlantis Crystals, Unicorn Reiki, Dolphin Trilogy Healing,

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Give Igor a holiday !

I like to run, but lately, inner saboteur ((I call him Igor)   has been grumbling about that. He wants me to take it easy, put my feet up and enjoy a delicious patisserie and a beer. Yes, he's very convincing!  One of my antidotes to Igor is this

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The Deep Self

There are dangers inherent in everything, including the healing journey into deeper consciousness. One of the dangers is this continuous “reaching for the Light” - because it often leads to 

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Stop Resisting Reality!

Our  resistance to the circumstances of our lives can create more PAIN and DIS-EASE than is actually necessary.  I made this video to demonstrate how much energy we waste by the insanity of resisting reality. Strong words, yes - but I want to shock you!!

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This - is Your Journey






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Pure Desire

There appear to be two contradictory beliefs in the world about Desire. 

1. New Age Beliefs – e.g. Law of Attraction.

"You must really WANT it. Do this for long enough and ... YOU WILL GET IT." 

2. Older Beliefs - inspired by religious views.

"To be

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The Thief That Robs Us

This moment is simply the space available to you - right now.Happiness is available, peace is available, right now, always. BUT - its all up to you.

You will experience this moment based on your thoughts about it, but you need to understand that each moment is a microcosm of your life, and that each moment builds on and includes all the previous moments.

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Self Sabotage

"The key to abundance is meeting limited circumstances with unlimited thoughts"

-Marianne Williamson

The whole process of MANIFESTATION depends on our thoughts ‘hitting the ground’ and becoming real in the physical world. THOUGHT is just another form of energy that originates in our crown chakra, at the top of the skull.

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The Journey To Manifestation

You’ve got to understand yourself as an energy being if you want to manifest your desires.First of all, you’ve got to know what you want, and to be very clear on that. After that comes the challenge of manifesting your desires. It’s easy for most of us to dream about what we want in life.

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Make Love not War

What is happening in our world? In a  time when we’re (supposedly) becoming more intelligent, and we have vast amounts of knowledge at our fingertips, we cannot seem to live together. Every day we hear more of…. Nuclear Bombs. Fear. Threats. Terror. Death. Pain. Power-mongering Politicians. 

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Thoughts and Anxiety

It's a bit like holding a TV remote control in your hand. You sit down on the couch, grab the remote control and select the channel you want, and then the program you want to tune into. You press the button and you activate the download through your satellite dish.

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There Is Nothing Wrong With You.

That is the profound truth that all spiritual teachers have been bringing to us for centuries. Yet most of us resist that possibility because we’re so programmed to think otherwise. We think we lack something, and we spend most of our lives looking  for it, often leading us to feeling a sort of emptiness.

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image courtesy of NC Editions


( extracted and rewritten from “The Possibility Exists” - available on Amazon )

SHADOW :  "A dark area or shape produced by a body coming between rays of light and a surface."  - Oxford Dictionary

Hey you. Yeah you. Wanna know what’s in your shadow? Nah, I didn’t think so.

In truth, none of us do. Because

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Dear Beloved

I know you are in pain, and yet you continue to journey on your own. I have tried to reach you many times but you have resisted all my attempts to make a connection with you. It saddens me to see you like this, but I must respect the contract I made with you before you left for earth.

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