RECENT BLOGS

Wanting something Different

March Musings from the Dordogne!

I have discovered, in my own life, that when I pull back from wanting anything more than I have, I begin to experience Being. This unconscious wanting, for something different to what’s presenting in the moment, is the greatest obstacle to happiness. It is the root of all suffering. It is also the root of all worry, stress, control and greed .

It happens when we identify so much with “having” that we lose touch with our “being” nature – our sacredness and also the sacredness of all life around us. This is the foundation of any true spirituality.

When we detach

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Fear and Excitement !

There I was, a year separated, forty something years of age, with zero experience of dating, after 20 plus years with the same woman. I felt fearful about going out into that brave new world - but at the same time, I wanted it. There seemed to be two parts of me battling inside - the fearful part, which wanted me to stay in my comfort zone – and the excited part of me, wanting to get up close and personal to a woman.

As I focused on these two parts of me, I realised that I could energise whichever part I gave my attention to. So I decided to focus on the excitement, and, rather than thinking too much about it ( another of fears little tricks!) I took ACTION.

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THE THIEF THAT ROBS US

This moment is simply the space available to you - right now.Happiness is available, peace is available, right now, always. BUT - its all up to you.

You will experience this moment based on your thoughts about it, but you need to understand that each moment is a microcosm of your life, and that each moment builds on and includes all the previous moments. When we are

 overly identified with our mind we never taste the depth of the moment - the Now. Why ?Because this mind of ours is always seeking to take a position on what is happening in the moment - and usually that position is determined by all the previous moments we've lived.In other words, we take our past into the present. The past then reproduces itself in the present – and so we create the same future as our past. We need to understand this deeply. 

 

The 3 Movements of Mind

The mind does not know how to engage with the moment in a fresh way, and there are three basic ways in which it does this, similar to the three Fear responses of fight, flight or freeze. The mind will either move away from what's happening, towards what's happening, or it will take a stand against what is happening. Let's look at each one of these in order.....

 

1. When we are presented with something in the external world, for example, a situation we don't like, our mind tends to "move away from" the situation. This is the fear-based response called "flight", where the ego mind sees the situation as a threat in some way, And so it will want to distance itself from the imagined threat, so as to keep you safe. Of course that's an illusion, because there is no real threat. However the very act of the mind moving away from the situation means that we have energetically left our centre. We find ourselves caught up in a mind story about the situation, and so our deep presence is not available to the situation. Our energy constricts, particularly in the belly area - and FEAR has won yet again. Our shoulders and chest slump as our power is effectively withdrawn from the situation.

 

2. The second strategy of the mind is to move towards something. When we find something we really like, it's very easy to lose ourselves in the "sweetness" of it. Again we have moved away from our centre. I am not saying that we shouldn't enjoy the sweetness, quite the opposite. What happens for most people is that while the "sweetness" is there in their lives, then they're okay. But if it disappears then you experience some level of ego suffering. What we're looking for here is the ability to recognise that the "sweet" feelings are in you - not outside of you. If someone or something makes you feel, let's say, "appreciated" - go inside and find some level of appreciation for yourself.  Stop making it about the other - your job is to build that self-appreciation so that way you can enjoy the sweetness while it exists, but if and when it stops or leaves, you're still ok with you. 

 

3. The third strategy of the mind is to take a stand against something, I'm sure were all familiar with this one. The mind sees something it doesn't like and forms its own opinion. It then moves into a strangely self-fulfilling cycle where it convinces itself that its opinion is the only one that matters. Beliefs become hardened, voices become loud and hearts close over. When we're in this mode we become mini-tyrants convinced of our own righteousness, and it is impossible for us to experience the moment in its depth and possibility. Our energy is akin to being frozen inside us - and our chest and shoulders may rise an inch and tighten, as 

 

In summary - we need to learn how to notice these movements of the mind and how they rob us of the joy of pure being. Keep om noticing. Once you notice what your mind is doing, you are connected to the deeper you, to the awareness that lives at your centre. Then you will experience the deep peace, fulfilment and happiness that you desperately crave. It's closer than you THINK! 

Quotes from Eoin's Book - "The Possibility Exists..." - published by O-Books, and available on Amazon 

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